I have identified as a gay man my whole life, but have always pretended to be straight. I come from a small town in Russia, so hiding is essential for staying safe. Even my closest friends don’t know about my sexuality.

I have a best friend of many years, Nick. We hang out with the same group of people. I’ve always felt very comfortable around him, so, at one point, I decided to share my secret with him. I was afraid, however, that it would ruin our friendship.

One day, our friend group got together for a barbecue, and I felt it was the right time to come out. I was really nervous, my hands were shaking, and I couldn’t look Nick in the eye. Finally, I revealed the truth in a stammering voice and then just ran away to “make sure the meat wasn’t burning.”

That night, I got really drunk and fell asleep in the attic so that no one could find me.

For the entire week that followed, I regretted my decision. I thought that Nick would tell all our friends about my homosexuality and that everyone would hate me.

However, a couple of days later, I received a text message from him offering to meet up and talk. I agreed, even though I was very scared.

We met in the park. Nick was clearly nervous, but so was I.

“Listen, Alex. I appreciate that you didn’t chicken out of telling me that you’re gay. Don’t think that I’m disgusted or anything like that.”

I didn’t understand where he was going with this.

“Here’s a thing… I’ve actually had a crush on you for a long time now.”

His words shocked me. Nick had dated girls before, so I had always assumed he was straight.

There was a long pause. I didn’t know what to say. Suddenly, he kissed me! That was the last thing I could expect, especially in a public place, yet I was happy. Honestly, I had also been interested in him as more than a friend, but I was convinced I had no chance.

A few days later, we started dating. This is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in, because we’ve known each other for many years, and we respect each other’s interests and preferences.

This entire situation really took me by surprise. I thought these things only happened in movies.