Queer Matchmaker

How a group of activists made a safe dating service for Russian trans people.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to search for a relationship in a country that’s made it illegal to talk about who you are? Today’s post allows a glimpse into the realities of dating for trans people in Russia. We also spoke with @centre_t_ru about their matchmaking initiative, which made this complicated process much easier!

You can follow “Centre T” on Twitter/X, where they post about Russian trans rights activism in English —

What is Queer Svaha?

“Queer Svaha” is a project made by our friends from “Centre T” — the largest organisation supporting trans people in Russia. It’s a matchmaking service that allows them to safely find friends, romantic partners and everything in between.

How does it work?

A trans person offers information about themself: their work, hobbies, goals and preferences in partner — anything that doesn’t deanonymize them. They then go through a short screening with one of the moderators, and their form gets published in Queer Svaha’s telegram channel. Anyone interested — cis or trans — can respond to the form, go through the screening and get connected with the form’s author.

Why is it necessary?

Nixi (she/they), curator of the project, explains:

”It’s dangerous to talk openly about your orientation and gender identity in Russia. You risk facing open aggression and violence even from your own family. Also, after the so-called “international LGBT movement” was deemed an extremist organization in Russia, all dating sites became unavailable for queer people. Offline events also ceased to exist because of concerns for the safety of LGBTQ+ participants.

Moreover, there’s the phenomenon of “fake dates,” where a queer person meets with someone they found online and is beaten or even killed as a result. There were cases of homophobes and transphobes cooperating with the police to “catch” an LGBTQ+ person. I personally helped a trans girl urgently escape Russia after she went on a fake date with a law enforcer.

In all of this, trans people are the most vulnerable. Many think it’s impossible for them to find a partner in these conditions. 

This is the problem that “Queer Svaha” solves — it gives people the opportunity to meet each other safely, to write openly about who they are without facing judgment or violence in Russia.”

In the first year of its existence, “Queer Svaha” has published 440 applications and processed over 2000 responses. As a result, 52 romantic and/or queerplatonic relationships have started — and this isn’t even counting all the friendships that people have made. 

 

The project will continue to help trans people find connections in the years to come. 

Terms of service

1.1 The Operator accepts the terms of this Agreement at the moment of its publication on the
website comingoutspb.com.
1.2 The published Agreement remains in force without a time limit.
1.3 The Operator is entitled to make changes to this Agreement. The changes shall be effective
immediately after being published on the website.
1.4 By agreeing to this Agreement, the benefactor provides consent for personal data processing.

2.1 The Operator may process the following personal data of the benefactor:
– Surnames and first names
– Country and city of residence
– E-mail address
– Date of birth
– Payment service provider
– Credit card number
– Card validity
– Issuing bank name
– Issuing bank country
– TIN (INN) of the issuing bank
– Account number.
2.2 Hereinafter the above-mentioned data is referred to in this Agreement as Personal Data.

3.1 The purposes for processing the benefactor’s personal data:
– Processing the donation sent by the benefactor via the website comingoutspb.com and further
communication regarding said donation(s);
– Sending information messages and newsletters to the benefactor with website materials
(comingoutspb.com).
3.2 The benefactor may unsubscribe from receiving the newsletter by clicking on the
unsubscribe button in any of the newsletters sent by e-mail to the benefactor.

4.1 Personal data processing is subject to the consent of the benefactor for their personal data
processing.

4.2 The Operator processes the benefactor’s personal data only if the User fills it out themselves
using specific forms available on the website comingoutspb.com. By filling out the forms, the
User consents to this Agreement.

5.1 The safety of personal data processed by the Operator is provided by the implementation of
legal, organizational, and technical measures necessary to meet the requirements of current
legislation in the field of personal data security to the full extent.
5.2 The Operator provides the safety of personal data and takes all possible measures which
exclude preventing access to personal data by unauthorized persons.
5.3 The User may withdraw their consent to the personal data processing at any time by sending
an e-mail to the Operator at [email protected] with a reference to “Withdrawal of
consent to the processing of personal data”.
5.4 If the benefactor withdraws their consent to the personal data processing, the Operator is
obliged to stop the processing and, if the storage of personal data is no longer required for the
purposes of personal data processing, to destroy personal data or ensure its destruction withing
a period not exceeding thirty days from the date the said withdrawal is received.